The Eventual

Why does it happen that your mobile always rings when you are in washroom? But I had no choice, than to pick up as it was the phone I was badly waiting for.
"Hi Vivek, tell me", I said
" Hi Chaitanya, good news , you are through with the interview."
" Ohh, thanks. That's great"
" I have sent you an offer letter, just go through it and let me know your decision by COP today"
"OK, that's fine."
"OK, bye"
Hmm, after hearing the news, I was strangely amazed at my reaction. At that moment, I had to be elated, not exactly ecstatic, but at least pleased to an extent. But it was a vague sense of blankness that had enveloped me making me void of any kind of emotions even though it was almost the perfect offer I was looking for, fine work profile, good package and a better role too.
Why?? The answer was sheer fatigue, I was tired. Tired of waiting, tired because it wasn’t an easy bait, it was to say the least my fourteenth interview that eventually fetched me an offer. Aug 2008 to Oct 2009, 14 months and 14 interviews as far as I can remember. A series of bizarrely bitter experiences, travels through jam packed PMTs, and autos and sometimes those conjusted six sitters rubbing shoulders with all kinds of strangers from Hadapsar to Hinjewadi, from Vimannagar to Talavade, from Kharadi to Kothrud, during heaviest of rains or sticky humid summers, freezing Pune winters just to switch a bloody monotonous job!!!

During this entire period, the corporate entity that I started hating most was HR. I guess, the acronym should be changed to Harassing Resources rather than Human Resources. I must confess that I saw the blackest of faces of the HR operation during this phase. At some places, I have had experiences as in HR would call me for an interview, a panelist would come, give the most disinterested look in the world to my resume, ask me some frivolous questions and ask me to leave. HR would ask me to go stating he/she would get back to me on this and I would leave furious biting teeth and clenching fists. So much so, that at one place, I went through three rounds of interview successfully and I was told in the fourth and the final round that my skills were just not a suitable match for the requirement, it was some misinterpretation by HR that I was called for interview and all previous rounds were conducted by people not related to project. This was really ridiculous, a waste of my four travels to and fro Vimanngar and Hinjewadi phase 2. At some place they told me to keep the resume and leave. At some places, panelists ridiculed me for the kind of projects I worked with. These are just few examples, if I start telling each and every experience, one can rest assured that it would be a long book.

I must thank God that I wasn’t searching for the first job. I had a decent job albeit paying peanuts. At least I had a place to go and work after every rejection. But, the question still remains that why after all these incidents, I was still entertaining all the HR calls, and gearing up for every new interview? Was it a real bad need of a change? Was it for financial reasons? Or was it just my gigantic ego that was driving me to nooks and corners of the City? I am still wondering. And what was it that got me over this lean patch? I guess, one must go and look around the past. I had seen even worse days than these. When in college, sometimes I would not even have 4 rupees to repair punctured bicycle and would walk 2 kms to the college. Two kms may not sound a big distance by any stretch of imagination, however in the scorching March, April heat of Sothern Maharashtra, this was definitely a big deal for a thin boy weighing 50 Kgs . So, this time round, it wasn’t that too difficult. I was just a freak wondering for a change and nothing else. The flattering terms like “Moral Support”, “Fighting Spririt”, “Never Say Die Attitude” and attractive quotes sound well only in the books, when it comes to real life situations they sound nothing more than a Bullshit!!! In the hour of crisis, you are the biggest support of yourself.

I don’t know whether I really achieved a success, or just satisfied my ego or it was eventually an agreement to be tied up as a prisoner with another Capitalist regime just for handful of more wages. But one thing is for sure that people only see the Eventual, they don’t see the countless failures, numerous rejections and dejections, immeasurable frustrations and depressions. They hear loud laughs and see sweet smiles, but fail to hear the long mute weeps and see the hidden brackish tears!!!