Sunday, January 10, 2010

My Drunkard Encounters

(Disclaimer: - Nobody is supposed to get intoxicated after reading this article, if you do so, it’s at your own risk. Those who believe drinking is a sacrilegious affair and will be tempted to sue me for blasphemy can very well turn a blind eye. And those who love to enjoy the divine juices on earth can go on this dizzy ride)

Friends, ladies and (not so J) gentlemen, I am definitely one of those who believe that whether it’s good or bad , it’s right or wrong, a true or a false, everything is essentially a relative term. So, today let’s see through my lenses and analyze the some ever cherished aspects of different variants of manmade waters.

Let’s start with short, simple and sweet (or bitter?), the Beer। Beer is simple, filling, enjoyable, and appetizing and considered not so risky। A perfect bet for starters। She doesn’t really have any fuss about herself. She goes well with anything and everything without carrying any airs. You can simply buy a large bottle, a small pint or a glass, get a bag filled with chips and start on a carefree ride. And nothing better than having a beer , chicken fries to go along with, bunch of friends to share and have them watching an India Pakistan Cricket match. With every sip, one must enjoy more excitement and even more intoxication. Well, for beer, I must thank Mr. Mallya for Kingfisher that any other beer brand I tested felt like a water. Sometimes Foster or a Cobra can also work. But for a true Indian Beer fan, Kingfisher has always been at zenith.

Now, enough of simple and soft business. It’s time for Roughs and Toughs, for hard and callous, she is one and only The Rum. One thing is for sure is that Rum is not for the weak hearteds. It’s for those strong, loyal fans and staunch admirers who are willing to literally offer themselves to this ruggedly sensuous lady. That’s why, Rum has always been a favorite amongst Army men and it has always been associated with Royal Navy. Now a days, in market, there are a lot of Rum brands available. But the loyal old timers always owe their allegiance to the evergreen, the real Boss the Old Monk. Although, in recent past Mcdowell’s has been making some inroads, The Old monk still remains the ultimate seductress for Rum fanatics.

Let’s jump to my personal favorite, the pure white, the burningly hot, Russian lady, The Vodka. I am pretty much biased towards this truly exhilarating, crystal clear skinned chic. If wine was to be the Queen, then vodka would definitely be the Princess carrying an enigmatic charm around her. The sheer numbers of combinations one can make with vodka are endless. Vodka with lemonade, vodka with orange juice, vodka with ginger tonic, vodka with lime soda etc. etc. However, for an Indian palate, the combination that has worked wonders is Vodka with sprite. Add a large peg of vodka to your glass, add healthy amount of spite and squeeze one fourth of a lemon wedge in it and start having dead slow sips. Two such pegs and you are in a Boeing 747 travelling faster than the light. Be careful though, as a crash is always on cards after third such round. Whenever I hear the word Vodka, three words come to my mind “Smirn Off”, “Smirn Off” and then there is “Smirn Off”. Personally, I believe, it’s an inexcusable crime for me to be infidel with this long term lady love of mine and go for any other so called pleasing cheap brands. But any non conformists can try their hands at White Mischief, Romanov etc.

Our flowing journey now takes us to the most alcoholic region, the party favorite, the conversation builder, The Whiskey. The liquor has the highest percentage of alcohol amongst her cousins. Whiskey is for a real connoisseur. She is not meant for a hasty affair. It’s a cold winter night, an old friend for a company, two chairs and a table in the back yard of your farmhouse, Mohd. Rafi singing a ghazal in background and a bottle of whiskey, two glasses and plenty of ice to go with. You can spend hours sipping and loitering in nostalgia. Due to her peculiar nature, whiskey has always been a catalyst for authors, poets, singers and even philosophers. Whiskey is a confession of a criminal, she is a celebration of togetherness, she’s a solace of broken heart, and she is a medicine of injured mind. The most adored Whiskey variant all over the world that kisses your tongue, reaches your heart in flash and hits your brain hard is Scotch. Perhaps, the most destructive yet most sought after invention gifted by Scottish to World. The “Teachers” has always been on People’s favorite list in Indian subcontinent. However now a days, some brands like Signature, Royal Stag have been leaving their marks.

Hold on your breaths and tie the seat belts for now it’s time to conclude this fare with the Queen, the Empress, the supreme, the divine, The Wine. She was so irresistible that even the Gods could not detest her. She’s the only snobbish creature amongst her cousins who enjoyed a royal companionship. She was the only one who broke the barriers of the bar and was honored with a place in full five course dinner table and was served in specially crafted glasses for her. They say that 3 W’s invariably lead to crime, Wine, woman and Wealth. Well, Women and Wealth are still a long way away, so I am a one third of a criminal already. If loving wine wasn’t right, I would rather be wrong all my life. If the old fox in childhood story knew the art of making wine, he would never call the grapes sour, would he? I don’t want to categorize this divine drink into brands; The Gods would never forgive me for that. Whether it’s French or Italian, Australian or Chilean or Argentinean, the Queen is a queen.

Hope you have enjoyed this journey through my lenses. Let me close this with a note that “Enjoy your drink, but always drink responsibly and know your limits. Never drink and drive as there is always someone waiting for you home”.

Chaitanya