Saturday, March 27, 2010
Women and Corporate World
I don’t claim that it’s the final and eternal word. It’s just a neutral but a little biased observation and few conclusions drawn out of it. My overall impression was that women have much greater chance than men to succeed and progress in corporate world. There are many factors contributing to it. Few, I may have found out, few, I am yet to know.
So, this is an attempt to draw your attention to what I feel like having understood.
1.Hardwork.
Even under intense intoxication I can definitely tell that women are lot more hardworking than their male counterparts. They are always eager to study new things and give their more than 100% in any kind of work they have taken in hands. This attitude not only wins them good command but respect in the hearts of top management.
2.Communication Skills.
Women have always been better communicators. Compared to men, mostly women tend to have more command over language. Especially, now a days in corporate world ,the fluency over English which is considered to be a mandatory norm is a kind of quality that seems to be friendlier for women. All these attributes not only make women a good communicator but an extremely effective and impactful one.
3.Good interpersonal skills.
Women have amazing interpersonal skills. They are most patient listeners on the earth. You can very easily share your feelings with them and they will really give you an impression that they care for you where as men will not listen they will just hear as if being at some superficial level. Take a small example of someone in a team returning from holidays. A woman team mate will always compassionately inquire about his health, family members even if she doesn't know any one of them.
4.Appearance.
In corporate world, appearance does matter. We know that people are mad behind the façade only. And in this department, women are very clever. They have lovely dressing sense.You won’t see any woman dressed shabbily or dressed up in something which does not go with their persona.Good looking gals even have more advantage with their killer looks mixed with suitable attire , they make an overpowering and dominating combination.
5.Smartness.
This is the only quality which I would like to associate along with women only. Yes, I mean it. Women are much smarter than men. They know what to do right and what to do wrong. They know what to say right and not. They know how to impress bosses. They know how to seduce others for their own benefit. They know what they have and how to make most use of it either destructive or constructive causes. This is where they score and leave behind men miles back and this is the vital most attribute contributtting to to their success in the industry.
So, here goes my take on women and corporate world. Again, I want to make one thing pretty clear that this is not a verdict, this is just an immature observation with many flaws. I am hungry for you reviews and replies.
Friday, March 26, 2010
The Eventual
Why does it happen that your mobile always rings when you are in washroom? But I had no choice, than to pick up as it was the phone I was badly waiting for.
"Hi Vivek, tell me", I said
" Hi Chaitanya, good news , you are through with the interview."
" Ohh, thanks. That's great"
" I have sent you an offer letter, just go through it and let me know your decision by COP today"
"OK, that's fine."
"OK, bye"
Hmm, after hearing the news, I was strangely amazed at my reaction. At that moment, I had to be elated, not exactly ecstatic, but at least pleased to an extent. But it was a vague sense of blankness that had enveloped me making me void of any kind of emotions even though it was almost the perfect offer I was looking for, fine work profile, good package and a better role too.
Why?? The answer was sheer fatigue, I was tired. Tired of waiting, tired because it wasn’t an easy bait, it was to say the least my fourteenth interview that eventually fetched me an offer. Aug 2008 to Oct 2009, 14 months and 14 interviews as far as I can remember. A series of bizarrely bitter experiences, travels through jam packed PMTs, and autos and sometimes those conjusted six sitters rubbing shoulders with all kinds of strangers from Hadapsar to Hinjewadi, from Vimannagar to Talavade, from Kharadi to Kothrud, during heaviest of rains or sticky humid summers, freezing Pune winters just to switch a bloody monotonous job!!!
During this entire period, the corporate entity that I started hating most was HR. I guess, the acronym should be changed to Harassing Resources rather than Human Resources. I must confess that I saw the blackest of faces of the HR operation during this phase. At some places, I have had experiences as in HR would call me for an interview, a panelist would come, give the most disinterested look in the world to my resume, ask me some frivolous questions and ask me to leave. HR would ask me to go stating he/she would get back to me on this and I would leave furious biting teeth and clenching fists. So much so, that at one place, I went through three rounds of interview successfully and I was told in the fourth and the final round that my skills were just not a suitable match for the requirement, it was some misinterpretation by HR that I was called for interview and all previous rounds were conducted by people not related to project. This was really ridiculous, a waste of my four travels to and fro Vimanngar and Hinjewadi phase 2. At some place they told me to keep the resume and leave. At some places, panelists ridiculed me for the kind of projects I worked with. These are just few examples, if I start telling each and every experience, one can rest assured that it would be a long book.
I must thank God that I wasn’t searching for the first job. I had a decent job albeit paying peanuts. At least I had a place to go and work after every rejection. But, the question still remains that why after all these incidents, I was still entertaining all the HR calls, and gearing up for every new interview? Was it a real bad need of a change? Was it for financial reasons? Or was it just my gigantic ego that was driving me to nooks and corners of the City? I am still wondering. And what was it that got me over this lean patch? I guess, one must go and look around the past. I had seen even worse days than these. When in college, sometimes I would not even have 4 rupees to repair punctured bicycle and would walk 2 kms to the college. Two kms may not sound a big distance by any stretch of imagination, however in the scorching March, April heat of Sothern Maharashtra, this was definitely a big deal for a thin boy weighing 50 Kgs . So, this time round, it wasn’t that too difficult. I was just a freak wondering for a change and nothing else. The flattering terms like “Moral Support”, “Fighting Spririt”, “Never Say Die Attitude” and attractive quotes sound well only in the books, when it comes to real life situations they sound nothing more than a Bullshit!!! In the hour of crisis, you are the biggest support of yourself.
I don’t know whether I really achieved a success, or just satisfied my ego or it was eventually an agreement to be tied up as a prisoner with another Capitalist regime just for handful of more wages. But one thing is for sure that people only see the Eventual, they don’t see the countless failures, numerous rejections and dejections, immeasurable frustrations and depressions. They hear loud laughs and see sweet smiles, but fail to hear the long mute weeps and see the hidden brackish tears!!!
Sunday, January 10, 2010
My Drunkard Encounters
(Disclaimer: - Nobody is supposed to get intoxicated after reading this article, if you do so, it’s at your own risk. Those who believe drinking is a sacrilegious affair and will be tempted to sue me for blasphemy can very well turn a blind eye. And those who love to enjoy the divine juices on earth can go on this dizzy ride)
Friends, ladies and (not so J) gentlemen, I am definitely one of those who believe that whether it’s good or bad , it’s right or wrong, a true or a false, everything is essentially a relative term. So, today let’s see through my lenses and analyze the some ever cherished aspects of different variants of manmade waters.
Let’s start with short, simple and sweet (or bitter?), the Beer। Beer is simple, filling, enjoyable, and appetizing and considered not so risky। A perfect bet for starters। She doesn’t really have any fuss about herself. She goes well with anything and everything without carrying any airs. You can simply buy a large bottle, a small pint or a glass, get a bag filled with chips and start on a carefree ride. And nothing better than having a beer , chicken fries to go along with, bunch of friends to share and have them watching an India Pakistan Cricket match. With every sip, one must enjoy more excitement and even more intoxication. Well, for beer, I must thank Mr. Mallya for Kingfisher that any other beer brand I tested felt like a water. Sometimes Foster or a Cobra can also work. But for a true Indian Beer fan, Kingfisher has always been at zenith.
Now, enough of simple and soft business. It’s time for Roughs and Toughs, for hard and callous, she is one and only The Rum. One thing is for sure is that Rum is not for the weak hearteds. It’s for those strong, loyal fans and staunch admirers who are willing to literally offer themselves to this ruggedly sensuous lady. That’s why, Rum has always been a favorite amongst Army men and it has always been associated with Royal Navy. Now a days, in market, there are a lot of Rum brands available. But the loyal old timers always owe their allegiance to the evergreen, the real Boss the Old Monk. Although, in recent past Mcdowell’s has been making some inroads, The Old monk still remains the ultimate seductress for Rum fanatics.
Let’s jump to my personal favorite, the pure white, the burningly hot, Russian lady, The Vodka. I am pretty much biased towards this truly exhilarating, crystal clear skinned chic. If wine was to be the Queen, then vodka would definitely be the Princess carrying an enigmatic charm around her. The sheer numbers of combinations one can make with vodka are endless. Vodka with lemonade, vodka with orange juice, vodka with ginger tonic, vodka with lime soda etc. etc. However, for an Indian palate, the combination that has worked wonders is Vodka with sprite. Add a large peg of vodka to your glass, add healthy amount of spite and squeeze one fourth of a lemon wedge in it and start having dead slow sips. Two such pegs and you are in a Boeing 747 travelling faster than the light. Be careful though, as a crash is always on cards after third such round. Whenever I hear the word Vodka, three words come to my mind “Smirn Off”, “Smirn Off” and then there is “Smirn Off”. Personally, I believe, it’s an inexcusable crime for me to be infidel with this long term lady love of mine and go for any other so called pleasing cheap brands. But any non conformists can try their hands at White Mischief, Romanov etc.
Our flowing journey now takes us to the most alcoholic region, the party favorite, the conversation builder, The Whiskey. The liquor has the highest percentage of alcohol amongst her cousins. Whiskey is for a real connoisseur. She is not meant for a hasty affair. It’s a cold winter night, an old friend for a company, two chairs and a table in the back yard of your farmhouse, Mohd. Rafi singing a ghazal in background and a bottle of whiskey, two glasses and plenty of ice to go with. You can spend hours sipping and loitering in nostalgia. Due to her peculiar nature, whiskey has always been a catalyst for authors, poets, singers and even philosophers. Whiskey is a confession of a criminal, she is a celebration of togetherness, she’s a solace of broken heart, and she is a medicine of injured mind. The most adored Whiskey variant all over the world that kisses your tongue, reaches your heart in flash and hits your brain hard is Scotch. Perhaps, the most destructive yet most sought after invention gifted by Scottish to World. The “Teachers” has always been on People’s favorite list in Indian subcontinent. However now a days, some brands like Signature, Royal Stag have been leaving their marks.
Hold on your breaths and tie the seat belts for now it’s time to conclude this fare with the Queen, the Empress, the supreme, the divine, The Wine. She was so irresistible that even the Gods could not detest her. She’s the only snobbish creature amongst her cousins who enjoyed a royal companionship. She was the only one who broke the barriers of the bar and was honored with a place in full five course dinner table and was served in specially crafted glasses for her. They say that 3 W’s invariably lead to crime, Wine, woman and Wealth. Well, Women and Wealth are still a long way away, so I am a one third of a criminal already. If loving wine wasn’t right, I would rather be wrong all my life. If the old fox in childhood story knew the art of making wine, he would never call the grapes sour, would he? I don’t want to categorize this divine drink into brands; The Gods would never forgive me for that. Whether it’s French or Italian, Australian or Chilean or Argentinean, the Queen is a queen.
Hope you have enjoyed this journey through my lenses. Let me close this with a note that “Enjoy your drink, but always drink responsibly and know your limits. Never drink and drive as there is always someone waiting for you home”.
Chaitanya
Sunday, February 22, 2009
An Insider into scrum call
The phone was ringing on his desk. He hastily picked that up, “Hello, Manish”,” where have you been Manish?”, beaming voice of Rashmi echoed in his ears. “Ohh, sorry, I missed the bus today, yesterday, I was not feeling well. I had asked Ravi to set an out of office for me.”, “Yeah, I know, so how are you feeling today?” “Feeling better.”, “Ok, there are lots of issues today, what are you going to answer Rob?”, “Hmm, let me see, I have just arrived, will quickly go through mails and see”, “Ok, fine , see you on the call”
At 2:30 , Manish dialed the UK Meet me- Manish – has joined the conference- an announcement was made in a sweet voice.
“Hi there, hi Manish.”
“Hi Rob”, rather grudgingly said Manish.
“So, how are you feeling today?”
(To Himself – having a delivery manager like you is sufficient to make someone feel sick) “Yeah, fine, much better than yesterday”
“What was it actually?”
(Angrily to Himself –it was limfosocomma of intestine, why do you want to know?)”Ohh, nothing much, a throat infection.”
Laughing loudly, Rob said, “Hope you are not spreading any germs through telephone line.”
(To Himself – What’s so funny in this, you fool) Manish laughed even louder, “Be careful then Rob”
“Anyway, back to business. I saw an e-mail from testing team; they have raised a defect on us regarding one validation check failure, what’s that about?”
(And then, suddenly, communicator blinked, it was Rashmi,”dat ws our mistake” with a scared smiley, “Hmm”, Manish quickly replied”)
“Let me check Rob( Pretending to think), yeah, got it. This doesn’t seem to be an issue to me, I guess, it has already been delivered by us in recent code fix, I am not sure which deployment took place on testing environment”
(Again communicator blinked, Rashmi was surprised, “Wat r u sayin?”, “Get dat fixed ASAP and send 2 testin team.It’s quite easy, nd nt 2 say keep it offline”, he hastily replied).
Rob was furious by now.
“Does that mean this is some mistake by testing deployment team, I must reply to them for seeking clarification.”
(To Himself – Hold on Mr. Perfectionist, don’t get us into trouble)
“Rob, may be some new joiners have carried out the deployment. This may have happened due to some human error. Sometimes, we have to accept that. Anyway, I will talk to them and get this sorted out, no need to start a mail chain for this.”
“OK, that’s fine then. Just make sure this doesn’t happen in future.”
“OK, moving on, I have got a request from Titanic ASG for their weekend test environment deployment, can we provide that?”
(To Himself – This is the limit, how can they ask for a test deployment support from our team on weekends??And this dumb too is ready for that)
“Give me a moment Rob.”
(Communicator blinked, It was Rashmi again , “I won’t be here on weekends, goin out wid my hubby” A smiley. Manish replied, “ ohh, is it?Even me goin out wid my 4 GFs - poverty, failure, frustration and depression” A wicked smiley followed.)
Manish brought a forced smile on his face and tried to be as polite as possible, “Rob, I am not too sure what kind of support they would need from us because as far as I know, this release of theirs had no impact on us.”
“Ohh, is it? Ok, I will once again confirm from them.”
(To Himself – Thank God, now you god damn fool, go and talk to them)”Thanks Rob, that’s great of you.”
(Communicator was blinking again, this time it was Nishant, “dude, u hav pink floyd’s songs”, “who’s dat?”, Manish wrote with a smiley. “stop kidding dude, I need those 2day”, “k, in a call will check”, “k, thx”)
And he suddenly felt like hearing to Rob’s hoarse voice “Manish, are you there?Manish?”
Manish came to senses again, “Rob, I am sorry, I accidently went on mute, just didn’t get you, can you please repeat?”
“That’s all right, I have forwarded you one mail from Vighnesh wherein he is asking something.”
Manish found it really hard to control his laugh at the way Rob pronounced Vighnesh, “Okay, let me check…yup, he is asking whether the new code has been performance tested or not.”
“Yes, would you mind replying to that?”
(To Himself – yeah, why not? I am your father’s paid servant. Even if it’s all delivery mangers’ mail, I can still reply to that. What the hell are you doing as Deliery manager then?)
“Of course, I will reply to that.”
“Ok, thanks for that. Anyway, I guess we have discussed everything by now. If there is nothing else to highlight, your team can drop off. Does anyone have any issues to talk about?”
(To Himself – Attending this daily torture is a big issue in its own.)
“Hmm…(A short pause) ..No.”
“OK then cheers bye.”
“Thanks Rob, bye,” Few frill voices echoed.
Manish breathed a sigh of relief, went to E drive of his machine, looked for songs folder and started searching for Pink Floyd.
Chaitanya Kulkarni
Monday, June 23, 2008
मी केलेल्या काही निवडक चारोळ्या
अचानक फुटतात
पण अश्रू मात्र
पापण्यान्तच गोठतात...
अचानक येणारा पाऊस
आणि नकळत येणार्या आठवणी
सरता सरत नाहीत
दोघेही चिम्ब भिजवून जातात
शरीराला अन मनालासुद्धा...
प्रेम व्यक्त करायला
का असतात, शब्दान्ची बन्धने ??
पुरेशी नसतातच का कधी
तुझ्या-माझ्या ह्रदयाची स्पन्दने ??
मीही आता शिकलोय
मनातले मनातच ठेवायला
आणि उगाचच ओठावर
खोटे हसू खेळवायला
पावसाने थोडे तिच्या
येण्यासाठी थाम्बावे...
पण ती आल्यावर मात्र
मनसोक्त बरसावे...
आयुष्यावर हसता हसता
हळूच आयुष्य माझ्यावर हसून गेले
आठवणीन्च्या पावसातील दोन थेम्ब
नकळत डोळ्यान्तून सान्डून गेले
कवितांवर कधीच
भुलायचं नसतं
कारण कवितान्च्या जगात
सगळंच कही खरं नसतं
व्याकरणाचे नियम मी
सहसा पाळत नाही...
कारण प्रत्येक गोष्ट साच्यात बसविणं
मला कधीच जमत नाही....
पाउस रुसलेला..
थोडा पाऊस नभात
थोडा पाऊस मनात
एक एका गं सरीत
तुझी चाहूल ऊरीत..
पाऊस असा हळूच
ऊन्हात भिजून येतो
सळसळणारी स्पंदने
अलगद गोठवून जातो..
पाऊस कधीचा ..
मी आवरत होतो
आणि हसता हसता चोरून
डोळयांच्या कडा पुसत होतो.
असंच एखाद्या संध्याकाळी , अंत:करण जड होतं,
पावलं आणखीनच जडावतात,
आणि रीत्या ओंजळीकडे पाहता पाहता,
डोळे आपसूकच पाणावतात….
Tuesday, June 17, 2008
What goes around, comes around
It was the time when Ramesh, the Project Manager turned to Manish. He called Manish and said, “Manish, This is a litmus test for you. I know it’s difficult but not at all impossible for the person with your talent even though it’s a completely new scenario for you and it’s one the most complicated systems , but I am sure you are the guy who loves challenges.” And indeed, Manish was never going to let this opportunity let go out of his hands. From the word go, he started working on it like a fanatic.
Manish was known to be the most talented, yet very helpful and down to earth guy in the team. He was known for his excellent technical skills and calm nature. For any kind of difficulties his colleagues faced, he was there to help them in a flash. But in spite of his extra ordinary skills and competencies, he was always overlooked by his manager in the appraisals. He was working with this team since last two years, still he wasn’t considered for promotions.Leave apart promotions, he had to struggle even for ratings. He did not get any onsite opportunity either as his beautiful female colleagues were preferred who always succeeded in winning the heart of the Manager.Ramesh was very well aware of Manish’s talents, still he wasn’t willing to recognize him as Manish was never one of those who always flattered him which he liked a lot. But as he knew, Manish’s capabilities, he was never willing to leave him as well. Manish had almost made up his mind to leave the job, and he got this exciting opportunity and wow, he nearly extracted Gold out of it!
And now, he was on top of the world, he was riding at the speed of jet with lucrative words like appraisals, high ratings, promotions, onsite opportunities, awards, recognitions flashing through his mind. And suddenly, out of nowhere a truck emerged with a virtually supersonic speed and before Manish could even understand what was happening, went crushing passed him!!!!
Manish slowly opened his eyes and found himself standing in a long queue, which went up to a tall, dark and handsome guy who was sitting on a Sinhasana and wearing an attire which he had seen the people from mythological movies and T.V. serials. There was another studious looking guy standing next to him and he was holding a book from which he was reading something. When Manish looked around he saw diseased, dilapidated people being subjected to inhuman atrocities by some extremely dark and monstrous guys. Those people were being beaten up by thorny metal rods, thrown into boiling oil, forced to eat stinking flesh. The atmosphere was full of cries and moans of these creatures made of flesh and blood. Recalling all the stories he had heard, all the descriptions he had read and mythological movies he had seen, Manish came to conclusion that he was in ‘HELL’ and now brought to Chitrgupta and Yamaraj to get the final verdict While waiting, he started wondering what sins could a soft hearted and helpful person have committed to have been brought to hell?Eventually, his turn came, Chitrgupta looked at him curtly and started reading the data of his sins. ”He was an extremely cunning guy, from his childhood, he loved bullying the people and taking their advantage…” ”What the hell is this ?”, Manish asked angrily, but Chitragupta snapped, “You are not allowed to talk before I am finished” , and he continued , “He always maintained good contacts with rich and influential people in the society and his workplace but always looked down on his juniors and those who did not flatter them. His good contacts with seniors also earned him managerial position. But as a manager also he was extremely unfair and biased. He always wanted boot lickers around and especially favored good looking female employees and always overlooked the competent and hardworking guys who did not fawn him. So much so, that even today, he had plans to ruin the appraisal of one of his team members who had just saved him from severe project loss…” , “Enough!!!!!”, Manish cried out loudly, he just burst into anger which he was holding onto for quite a while. “Whom are you talking about?? These are all completely baseless and false allegations, you should better check your records and then speak. Your system seems to be quite similar to our government. First of all, I deny all the allegations of being cunning, a fawner bla bla bla. And again, I have never been a Manager at any instant of my life, leave apart ruining anybody’s career or appraising someone. Also, Had I ever been a manager, I would have never committed such shameless acts. I simply don’t understand whom and what you are talking about.” Surprised by this sudden outbreak, Yamaraj just raised an eyebrow and gave Chitrgupta a questioning look. Puzzled by Manish’s genuine protest, Chitragupta hesitantly asked him, “You are Mr. Ramesh Batuja, aren’t you?” Manish felt like having been thrown from Eiffel tower, it was like , the whole hell was revolving around him.”No almighty, No.It wasn’t me , it was my Project Manager!!!!!”. It was the moment of shock for both Yamaraj and Chitragupta. Yamaraj Frowned , “Chitragupta, this seems to be a case of mistaken identity. Let’s recheck all our records, call for a meeting and then take a decision.”
“You have been called to Yamaraj’s cabin “, A dark woman came and told Manish. With a frustrated mind and body, Manish just labored himself to the cabin. As he entered, Yamaraj smiled and said gently “Come son, have a seat”. Manish was amazed at such a cordial voice. Then slowly, Yamaraj started speaking, “Son, First of all I apologize for the fatal mistake committed by our officials. I have confirmed from Chitragupta that Not you, but our manager was supposed to die today, but as Yamadootas took you as Ramesh, they took your life. You were supposed to live for much longer and lead an extremely successful career ahead after leaving your current job. This is our mistake and I take a complete responsibility of it”. Manish grinned and said “My life has already been finished now and now there is no use to listen to what was in store for me in the future”. Yamaraj again smiled , “Don’t be disappointed son. Nothing is over yet, in fact it’s just a beginning for you.” Puzzled was Manish, he asked, “How cum?”. Yamaraj said “Son, No one can be pardoned for any rubbish he has committed, your manager recorded one the highest number of sins in recent times, don’t you want to give that back to him ??” Even more puzzled, Manish asked, “How can I do that?”. Yamaraj said , “May not be in this life, but definitely in the next life, son. In the next birth, we are going to place you as manager and you manager, Ramesh as the developer to work under you. And you will be free to play all those tricks that he played with you and to harass him to the fullest. Moreover, you will be forgiven for all those sins as a compensation of mistake of our officials. It’s the best I can offer you to correct our mistake.” Manish was literally in tears “Thanks, thanks a lot almighty”. Yamaraj blessed him, “Go son and start your new life, my blessings will always with you.”40 years later…..
At 3 A.M. streets of New York were deserted, It was a bitter cold, snowing and showing early signs of storm, Tony was driving his old car frantically………………
Chaitanya Kulkarni
